100 Questions!
by Punk-Of-Funk-101
Summary: 100 Questions for Klavipollo! Heh. Was used on a Japanese fandom coupling site. Enjoy!


**Random FanFic I found on Objection! An Ace Attorney Forum. If you recognise this, tell me! I don't wanna take the credit, but it was just too funny for it to not be on here! :D  
**

**I don't own the characters, the questions, or underpants. 0_o Ooops :P**

1) Tell us your name please.

A: I'm fine! I mean, uh, A...Apollo Justice! That's right!  
K: Klavier Gunther Kristen Gavin at your service, baby.  
A: *boggles*

2) Your age?

K: Are you ok, baby?  
A: I'm fine, no really, I'm fine! Fine! I'm 22.  
K: 24 and only getting better.

3) Gender?

A: Uh.. male? Men?  
K: Well, mamma used to put us in dresses sometimes, me and Kristoph, just for fun! Oh, those days were so wonderful...  
A: *boggles*

4) What's your personality like [in your eyes]?

A: People seem to have this impression that I'm anxious and defensive. But that's not the case, really! Really it isn't!  
K: I want to think I'm just a wonderful guy that sings the songs and catches the bad guys, rocking and rolling and making love.  
A: *boggles more*  
K: ...is right, ja?

5) You partner's personality?

K: Oh, he is just so wonderful. He is so cute, and when he is in court he is so passionate, like a burning red flame, but then he gets embarassed and goes all cute again, oh, it just makes me so happy!  
A: *embarassed smile*

6) When did you two first meet? Where?  
*not answering due to what I think are SPOILERS! :D*

7) Your first impression of your partner?

K: Oh, he was so cute and wonderful! And he had this sort of sad look in his eyes, and he-  
A: ....a dickhead.  
K: *boggles* ...unglaublich!

8) What part do you like about your partner?

K: *earnestly* I do really like his hands, actually. They are a very nice shape, and say a lot about his gentle personality.  
A: *shyly* He's also a gentle person. I like that he's caring and very truthful.

*proceed to shamelessly shyly and disgustingly oogle eachother*

9) What part of your partner do you dislike?

K: I sometimes wish Forehead would be less stressed, actually. He is his own worst enemy. *pats his knee*  
A: *shyly* There's actually not that much I dislike about you, actually.  
K: ...really?  
A: Yes.

*commence oogling*

10) Do you think you and your partner are compatible with each other?

K: Oh, ja. We are very compatible.  
A: Surprisingly... yes.

11) What do you call your partner?

K: Oh, I have so many... so many, what is the word... nicknames for my Forehead! He can be my baby, or my sweetheart, or my Kleiner, mein Schätzchen, that is kind of like in English how you say my treasure, or honey... that's one too, as is...  
A: *boggles as he realises he's never actually referred to Klavier by name*

12) What would you like to be called by your partner?

K: *slowly realises the same* Actually, anything would be nice...  
A: *mouthes* Sorry! *chastised*

13) If you compared your partner to an animal, what would it be?

K: *less enthusiastic* He's a bit like a... like an... otter. It kind of has a sniffly nose, you know? Like a mouse.  
A: *had that coming* He's like a gazelle. Or a giraffe. Tall and elegant, y'know?  
K: *back to doe-eyed* ...really?

14) If you were to give your partner a gift, what would you give them?

K: I would give him anything he wanted in the world.  
A: *can't compete with this, particularly when it's 100% honest from Klavier* ...I just want to be the best person I can be for him.  
K: *gets emotional*

15) If you were to receive a gift from your partner, what would you like?

K: I have his heart and that is all I want.  
A: *gets emotional too; engages in a little cuddle*  
K: ....actually, do you remember those sunglasses we saw on Thursday? The Dior ones in the sparkly case? I would like those.

16) Is there anything you are dissatisfied with about your partner? If so, what would that be?

K: I just think all we are needing to improve on is telling eachother our emotions. Right, Forehead?  
A: *nods* That's true.

17) What's a habit of yours?

K: Oh, I just love yoghurt. I always eat it with rainbow sprinkles a few hours before a concert. It's a rainbow! That you can eat!  
A: I uh... *looks sideways at Klavier* ...I fidget when I get nervous sometimes.

18) What's a habit of your partner's?

A: You know, actually, when he shaves in the morning he tilts his head to the left, and then when he brushes his hair he tilts it to the right. Strange, huh?  
K: I do that?  
A: Yeah! *laughs* It's kind of funny.

19) What something that your partner does (like a habit) that you dislike?

K: I guess... I guess because he's so high tension he finds it very hard to settle down and relax with me. But we can work on that. Can't we, baby. *winks*  
A: *flushes* He's so toward in public sometimes. But that's just him. In fact, you know, in front of Mr Edgeworth the other day, can you believe it, he...  
K: ...nobody wants to hear that story, baby. Let's put the past behind us.

(see here on the kink meme; my request, not my fic. ;3)

20) What's something that you do that your partner dislikes (like a habit)?

K: *laughs heartily* Oh, he hates it when I talk to Herr Edgeworth in Deutsch. He is so jealous of me. *winks*  
A: He reads on the toilet. Constantly. He doesn't even realise what a health hazard that is!

21) How far have you taken your relationship.

K: *smiles broadly*  
A: *flushes

22) Where was your first date.

K: We had our first date at the law library, you know. I could just picture him in tortoise coloured glasses like a professor!  
A: ...that wasn't a date, that was a coincidence!  
K: It was a date the second you sat on my knee. *winks*

23) What was the atmosphere between the two of you like then?

A: I didn't sit on his knee. And the atmosphere was actually kind of nervous, we had court the next day and it's bad for the prosecution and the defense to meet.  
K: I wasn't so nervous. I knew that he would do a good job and we would find the truth together.  
A: *touched*

24) How far did you go then?

A: ....in the library!? Are you insane!?  
K: Calm down, Forehead. You know, this is why I have trouble showing my love to him in public. He also is a little paranoid about germs.

25) Where's a place you go often for dates?

K: Oh, Apollo likes the crepe shop. It's very nice in there, they play good music.  
A: And not too loudly, either.  
K: No, it's just right. Loud is for concerts.

26) It's your partner's birthday. What will you do? [How will you play up for it?]

K: Oh, I would like to do so much for him on his birthday! Except because he is shy easily, I would make it nice and relaxed, and make him his favourite food, and put out some candles, and play some jazz... and oh, of course, write him a song.  
A: Actually, because Klavier is famous, a lot is already planned on his birthday by his manager and his fans and that sort of thing... so I, uh, like to think I can do something quiet for him, something intimate maybe. *blushes*  
I know he really likes making the bedroom really special, maybe I'd get some flowers and candles and uh, things like that...

27) Who proposed first?

K: Propose? Isn't that word for... what do you say, marriage?  
A: *confused* Yeah.

28) How much do you like your partner?

*lovey beaming all around*

29) Then do you love them?

*intense oogling*  
K: *murmurs in his ear* I love you, Schatzi.

30) What's the one word your partner says that you're helpless against? [helpless is a word that's left deliberately open-ended]

A: *weakly* ...Schatzi...

31) You think that your partner may be cheating on you! What do you do?

K: *uncomfortably* I don't think he is the type who would cheat.  
A: Either do I. Well. Not in that way.  
K: What!?  
A: No, no, I mean... it's nothing.  
K: No, tell me! What are you thinking?  
A: Well, not that you would cheat.  
K: But?  
A: It's nothing. Just that you... I mean, I doubt it would ever happen, but when I met you, you struck me as the type to... you know. Invite other people.  
K: *incredulous* Invite other people? You are meaning I would make a threesome?! With us?  
A: *weakly* I told you it was nothing.  
K: ...  
A: It's the rock star thing, you know?  
K: ...*laughs out loud* Oh my Forehead, that's something the magazines make up. We rock stars are just like everyone else.  
A: *nods mutely*  
K: Plus, I am a gentleman. I would never spill the details if I ever had had a threesome.  
A: *nods, then starts* You mean... what?!  
K: *raises eyebrow* You want a threesome, baby?  
A: *boggles*  
K: *laughs*  
A: *hits him*

32) Can you forgive cheating?

A: No! No, I couldn't!  
K: No. And I would never do it either.

33) You partner is late for a date by an hour! What do you do?

A: Despite the rule about cool people being fashionably late, Klavier is always impeccably on time. So I would be worried.  
K: I am an exceptional rock star by that measure.

34) What part do you like about your partner, physically?

A: *shy appraisal* His kind face.  
K: I love all of him. Especially his little bum.

35) What's a sexy gesture of theirs?

A: *chastened to remember the obscene hip thrusting at Klavier's last concert*  
K: His subconscious sexy gestures.  
A: My... what?  
K: *deigns to answer; runs his tongue slowly across his top lip*  
A: *boggles to consider that he's ever done that*

36) What kind of moments make your heart flutter/jump? [What kind of moments bring about the doki!factor?]

A: His sincerity. When he's so truthful and uses that deep voice and... uh, yep, his sincerity.  
K: His shy but earnest look. Oh, god.

37) Can you lie to your partner? Are you adept at lying?

K: *laughs out loud* I cannot lie! That's why I am a prosecutor, and not a defence lawyer.  
A: Hey!

38) Doing what makes you feel the happiest?

K: Being with my Forehead. Singing, cooking, dancing, making love.  
A: Just... relaxing, being at home, reading a good book and eating good food.

39) Have you had a fight with your partner before?

K: We have, I think.  
A: Yes.

40) What kind of a fight? What kind of fights do you two have?

K: It is usually a misunderstanding, I think. I need to be better at reading what he wants from me.  
A: You don't really. You're already good at that. I just need time out when I'm in a bad mood.  
K: It is usually a lifestyle conflict. And there are times we need eachother but it is not conveniant. Like when I am writing a song and he has had a bad day. But love is about sacrifices, you know? That might have been an award winning song he interrupted, but my Schatzen is more important.  
A: You see... *frustrated* This is what can annoy me... he's totally sincere when he's saying that. Because on the one hand, it's like those playstation widows, like the husband saying 'one more level...' when she needs company  
K: And he finds it hard to appreciate that weaving the threads of a song is an art, not a Playstation game.  
A: That's just the thing... then I feel selfish, because it's his passion, and I need to respect that part of his life.  
K: Schatzi, it might also have been a completly crap and godawful song. And if you need me, I want to be there.  
A: *flushes* I don't want to be a burden. I want to give, not just to take so much...  
K: *brushes his lip with his thumb like a bad yaoi seme* You already give me so much...  
A: *whimpers*

41) How do you two make up?

*the fact that they are snogging answers this question*

42) Would you want to be lovers even when you're reincarnated/reborn?

K: *laughs* Oh yes, I would like that.  
A: I can't say I really believe in it, but yes, that would be nice.

43) What kind of moments make you really feel "Gee, I'm loved"?

A: When he looks only at me in a room full of people *wants to die of embarassment*  
K: When he does something special for me

44) What kind of moments make you really feel "Maybe I'm not loved…"?

K: When he winces at loud music!  
A: *feels so loved it's ridiculous*

45) How do you express your love/affection?

K: I'm always touching my Forehead.  
A: I'm... actually not very good at it. But I'm get better, touch him more...  
K: *loves this*

46) If you were to die, would you want to die before your partner? Or after?

K: I couldn't stand living without my Schatzen.  
A: I... I don't want to go after you, either!

47) Are there any hidden things between the two of you?

*long exchanging of looks*  
K: I tell him everything.  
A: *whispers to Klavier* I'm wearing underpants made entirely of Swiss chocolate.  
K: *boggles*

48) What's a complex you hold? [Is there anything you are self conscious of?]

K: Forehead is a little self-conscious in the bedroom. I don't know why, I keep telling him he's beautiful, everywhere.  
A: The question was asking about you, not the other person!

49) Is your relationship out in the open? Or hidden?

A: These things... they're kind of hard to hide. Once it was out, it was out, and you can't hide anything from Trucy.  
K: *uncomfortable* I wish I could be more out about it. But I keep having to decieve the magazines because they watch you like hawks the second they think something's going on. It won't stop me from kissing him in the street. :D

50) Do you think your love is eternal?

K: *suddenly inspired to write a song* Eternal...  
A: Eternal... is a really strong word. I can't... I can't see a natural end to this, but... I don't want to imply the end of us by saying no!  
K: *kisses his forehead* It's ok. We should all live in the now, anyway.

(Dirty questions)

51) Are you uke? Or seme?

K: *mischievous grin* Apollo is so quickly flat on his back it is not worth an answer!  
A: *Bright Red*

52) How was it decided so?

K: I think he likes it there!  
A: *Even redder*

53) Are you satisfied with that situation?

K: Ahh, look, it is time for intimate questions and he closes up like a clam. I am very happy, but that doesn't mean we haven't tried other things together, ja?  
A: J-ja. Er, yes.

54) Where did you first consummate your love [I'm just being silly]?

K: *clearly an interview pro* It was in the Hotel Nova, on the couch.  
A: *scandalised* Klavier!  
K: It's ok! It's just an interview for posterity, it won't get out!

55) And what you felt at that time…

K: Oh, oh it was so amazing. We were just... melting into eachother, it felt so right...  
A: I... I.... uh, it was... *so red he's purple*  
K: It's ok, I feel the same way. *beams*

56) What was your partner like then?

K: Beautiful. He was just, so beautiful.  
A: I think it's safe to say.. uh, the whole thing was overwhelming.

57) The first words spoken the morning after?

K: I was so smitten. I had been wanting him for so long, and I told him.  
A: It's so embarrasing, but I... *flushes, determined* I've never felt like this. I really, really want to be with him. I can't remember what I said though.  
K: You said, 'Oh, my arse!'

58) How often do you have sex in a week?

K: *scratches head* Since we have been staying with Herr Wright, it has been a little awkward  
*Phoenix yells from next room; 'hasn't stopped you though!*  
A: I think he's been going out more, you know, to give us some time.  
K: Heh. *stops himself from saying 'it's not enough!'*

59) Ideally, how many times would you like?

K: Oh.  
A: ...  
K: Loving Apollo isn't like counting the time, all the experience swirl into one another and become fluid...  
A: Which translates as 'I want it every night and usually in the morning'.  
K: Well. That's true.

60) What kind of sex is it?

K: Apollo is so hot. Oh, he is so sweet and sensitive and beautiful...  
A: *mental collapse at the embarassment combined with recollections of the last time he was ravished*

61) Where are you the most sensitive?

A: Just about everywhere!  
K: Here. *puts his hand on his heart*

(Oh, god.)

62) Where is your partner the most sensitive?

K: The skin below his stomach makes him moa-  
A: His neck, I think. 0_0

63) Describe your partner in one word what they are like during sex.

K: Wunderbar.  
A: ...intense.

64) In all honesty, do you like sex? Or not?

K: It is so nice.  
A: *can't bring himself to say that he freakin' loves it*

65) Usually, under what kind of situation do you have sex under [what kind of setting?]

K: As of an evening, I like to light some candles, play some slow music...  
A: Mmm. Except it can be anywhere, really.

66) Is there any situation you'd like to try? (Location, time, costumes etc)

K: As long as it is with Apollo, I am happy.  
A: Actually, I... *shyly* there was something I want to try. I just want to... look at him. And talk. Light the candles and s-strip, and talk without touching. Until we have to.  
K: *thoughtful* I liiiike that.

67) Do you shower before sex? Or after?

K: After. It's his germ thing.  
A: I wouldn't feel sanitary!  
K: Unless we're too exhausted.

68) Are there any promises between the two of you when it comes to sex?

K: I promise to only do what he wants.  
A: *leans against him* I promise too.

69) Have you had sex with a person other than your partner?

K: I have.  
A: *flushes* I... wouldn't... call it sex.

(going by the fanon here that Apollo went into foster care and his first love was his foster brother 8D)

70) Do you agree or disagree with this opinion: "If I can't have their heart, I'll have their body."

K: *appalled* Oh, noooo.  
A: No, that's not right.

71) Your partner has been raped by a baddie! What do you do?

K: *quietly* I never want that to happen to you.  
A: *thinks inexplicably of Kristoph* N-no. That's awful.

72) Do you feel more embarrassed after or before sex?

A: Before, definitely.  
K: *nudist at heart*

73) If a friend of yours approached you for sex saying "I'm feeling lonely…so just tonight…" what would you do?

A: *is thinking of Phoenix* ...............no.  
K: Good lord, no. *has actually done this before*

74) Do you think you're good at sex?

K: I hope so! Am I?  
A: *meekly* Yes!

75) And your partner?  
K: Oh, he is a professional.  
A: I...hang on, what?!  
K: Is that not a compliment?  
A: Eeehh... it sort of has bad implications. You just don't say it in this sort of context!

76) Are there any words you'd like your partner to say during sex?  
K: I want him to say 'Klavier, you are like a wild animal! Oh, ravish me~!' Then I would like it if he said like a French maid 'Oh, don't touch me there~!' But the usual whimpering is ok. ;D  
A: I ... oh god. I don't really have any requests.

77) What kind of expression of your partner's do you like seeing during sex?  
K: When he is pleasured. He is suddenly so relaxed and beautiful.  
A: *still can't believe he's even talking about this* When he just... gazes at me. *head in hands* oh my god...

78) Do you think it's ok to have sex with a person other than your partner?  
K: You already inadvertantly answered this before! When you said I was a player!  
A: I didn't say you were a player! I said I initially thought you might have been that type of person... that it came with the rock star territory...  
K: I think you are secretly interested in it.  
A: I uh... no, no. It was just a thought! A thought I wish I never had!  
K: It's ok. You can tell me all about it later. Over champagne.

79) Are you interested in BDSM?  
K: *thinks inexplicably of his brother, annoyed* I can't really say it's my thing. My love is an even exchange, I want to give and take together.  
A: *shifty* You could tie me up if you wanted to.  
K: But I think it is slightly different... it is all about the play of power, and the roles...  
A: ...I guess so.  
K: Being kinky is different. *winks*

80) What would you do if your partner suddenly doesn't approach you for sex?  
A: I'd think he was desperately ill.  
K: I would think he wasn't interested with me anymore.  
A: No... really? But I... *snuggles* that wouldn't happen, it wouldn't happen like that...

81) What do you think about rape?  
K: We had that question before, too. *stony-faced* Let's not talk about it.

82) What's the most painful part about sex?  
A: Oh, I've got plenty.  
K: *laughs quietly* Yeah, it is something that can take getting used to, being with a man.

83) Of all the places you've had sex, where was the most thrilling location?  
K: *looks to Apollo*  
A: *still freaked out about it* Th..the concert hall.  
K: *proudly* Five minutes before the show started!

84) Has the uke initiated sex before?  
*exchange of looks*  
K: Apollo does not so much initiate as set the mood. For instance, once I arrived to a home full of candles and incense and Apollo sitting on the couch in his chocolate underwear. But then he resisted my advances until he had finished his sudoku.  
A: *sudden laugh* Oh, I'm sorry. It's just that I'd been working on it all day.  
K: He would only listen when I'd eaten the underwear.

85) What was the seme's reaction then?  
K: Well, actually I felt sort of sick afterwards.  
A: I think the underwear was past its use by date.

86) Has the seme ever committed rape?  
K: What is this?! No, seriously!? These questions are really bothering me!  
A: It's ok, just ignore it.

87) And the uke's reaction then?  
K: *starts to get up off the couch* Let me see that...  
A: *pulls him back down* It's just a general consensus thing, let it go. It's ok, forget about it...

88) Do you have an ideal person in mind for a sexual partner?  
K: *argues with producer about the questions- why would his sexual partner not be Apollo?*  
*throws rare rock star tantrum*

89) Does your partner satisfy that ideal?  
K: *finally convinced to see it through* Yes, Apollo is my ideal.  
A: I'm really sorry, affairs of the heart mean a lot to him...

90) Do you use sex toys?  
A: This and that.  
K: *annoyed* Will these questions still be... facetious?  
A: There's only ten left. Let's make them our best, right?  
K: *softens* Right.

91) How old were you on your "first time"?  
K: Oh, I was probably a little young, I was still a teenager. That's rock and roll for you.  
A: It, uh, depends how you define 'first time'. When I was 15, I think...

92) Is that person your current partner?  
K: No, I don't think I'd met him before then...

93) Where do you like being kissed?  
K: Aha, back to intimate questions. Kissing is good anywhere, but I love his mouth.  
A: Er, me too.

94) Where do you like to kiss?  
K: I don't understand the difference in these questions.  
A: I think this one is about where you like 'giving' the kisses.  
K: Ah, well in that case, is a secret.  
A: *mouths secretively* My thighs...  
K: *whispers* What, your tights?

95) What the thing your partner likes the most during sex?  
*exchange of looks*  
K: I think he likes talking, actually. Telling eachother things.  
A: I do. And I think he likes just... deep affection.

96) What are you thinking about during sex?  
K: The weather. What do you think I am thinking about?! Whether my baby is having a pleasurable time, of course!  
A: *blushes; actually did think about the weather once, and sudoku* I'm thinking about him.

97) How many times in one night?  
K: Oh-ho. Like I said before, we are not about counting, we are about living with eachother, living inside eachother...  
A: Two.  
K:...  
A: It's the quality, not quantity that counts.  
K: It's just that good he falls asleep after.

98) Before sex, do you take your clothes off yourself, or does your partner take them off for you?  
A: It's nice when you undress eachother.  
K: A slow sexy strip, ja?  
A: But sometimes clothes just get in the way. And you need to perform a quick removal operation.  
K: *nods* But you can leave your hat on.  
both: ...............................*snerk*

99) For you, what is sex?  
A: Just... it takes you to a different place.  
K: Apollo.

100) And finally, please say something to your partner.  
A: *offers a smile*  
K: *touches his cheek* Oh baby, I'm sorry I made a tantrum.  
A: It's ok... you are a prosecutor after all.  
K:..........*bursts out laughing* Einspruch!


End file.
